A moment turned eternity

I heard a voice sing behind me and turned around
I looked into your eyes and in a fraction of a moment
A song became mine forever.
I wished that moment would not end. and it did not for fifteen years.
Now I try to salvage a bit of that infinity in my limited world.

Limited Love

I drown in this love.
Wave upon wave lash at me,
Pull me in, as I try to claw
My way out on the shore.

Wave upon wave
Covers my head, finally
Water fills my lungs as I draw
Breath, till I know no more.


Greener trees, bluer skies,
Colours burst out in tiny rainbows
Everywhere my eyes rest around me,
Kaleidoscope, long streaks of light.

Im one with the world,
Beauty in airwaves around me flows,
I stumble again, throw up against the tree,
The birds laugh loud as they take flight.


Its a new world-
You are everything I know-
You are my God, my destiny-
I could give my life for you-

Come, torment me.
Like a tumor come and grow
Inside me, Poison me, Tear me.
I will yet show how my love is true.

Let Me Stop

I run without destination
Chasing shadows, Ive fought my will
The monsters close in if I stop
So here I am- running still...

Thanksgiving

I tried to feel lonely this morning

Tried to be angry

But everything just washed away in a smile.

In my heart... Peace.

I feel the blood flow in your veins as I touch your skin,
The scars on your arm and in my heart
Glow softly in the broken twilight-suns ray;
Slowly ten years of separation just melts away.

A tear joins the sweat coursing down your face,
I catch it on my tongue like I would a rain drop.
My tears mingled with yours midflight and fell,
Your eyes convey what your lips wont tell.

I smile as I see you cry, holding my hand,
I want to hold on to these hours.
Tomorrow our worlds may be torn apart ,
But tonight is ours... just ours.

The words you said still ring in my ears,
Today you are gone again, like you always go
The rain falls on me now, like a memory,
And I know you will always come back to me.

Hatred

Like drops of acid on my skin
Hatred drips and slides
Eating into the flesh, scorching my bones.
I can see as they land, poisoned arrow tips
Zipping through the emptiness between us
I watch wide-eyed as they pierce into my heart.

Nothing remains, nothing
Not even vaccum now
The past recedes farther
The present caustic
And the future black, black like empty space.

You will leave, all of you
Go on with your little lives
With your little joys and little sorrows
I remain clutching desperately
Like a beggar to her only bowl
Laugh at the irony if you find that empty
Or my body covered in soot and spit.

I am this and nothing more
To some, worse than a whore
They come and they go, They will not stay
They see my eyes and shrink away
I stand here, like a roadside flower
Any footfall makes me cower
Im afraid, afraid of everything
Of what tomorrow will bring
Im scared of the day, tired of the night
Ive lost all energy to fight
Tears of blood flow like a river
No one near me, I stand and shiver
The little angels of hope are gone
Leaving me here, on my own
I want the raindrops to wash my fears
But only this acid into me tears
I stay alive burning with this fever
As my soul stands and watches me wither.

(The poem is not even. 1st para 6 lines, 2nd 5 lines, 3rd 7 lines, total 18, and the second part has 18, and rhymes as opposed to the first part. Hatred is like that, I suppose.)

Ordinary poem

I am an ordinary girl with an ordinary life
My ordinary day leads to an ordinary night
I work, I play, I eat, I drink
Life ebbs and flows, I rise and sink
I trudge along much travelled streets
Of roadside flowers Im but the weeds.
One day Ill lay myself to rest
Then, of me let just this be said
She was ordinary in all the above
But she had an extraordinary love.

Hope

Like a land destroyed
Chunks of concrete, shards of metal
Strewn all around.
Dark smoke
Black, black sky
The air hangs like an unwashed shrowd
Smelling of sulfur
Reeking, reeking of death.

Hearts break like that...

But what is this...
Is it a flower, a tiny rose bud
From this barren land born
Can she make it live again?

Written long ago.

Go and take a walk on the white and gray beach
feel every grain of sand as it slips and slides between your toes
look behind to see your footprints fill with salt water
leave them where you know the tide will wash them away.

Hold her hand tight if you want to walk with her
she may be wild like the wind that ruffles your hair
she is beautiful like the twilight, but soon darkness comes
she may be fleeting like the tide, like the day, like time.

Her smile is like the early morning sunshine
her tears like the million stars twinkling in the night sky
she touches with her fingertips like a cool summer breeze
her love is a tempest, a whirlwind, her love is the blue sea.

Build sand castles but soon they will crumble and fall
find kingdoms in the clouds above your head
do you see shapes of islands on the blue horizon
do you try to hold on to the sand or surf in your folded hands?

Searching for a way to give in
To the madness in my mind
It's not OK and I am not fine
But who will hear me scream.

Accept that its all wrong
Who will stop this slow burn
How to mend this brain churn
Living an impossible dream.

Anonymous in my world
Slow descent into hell
Cancer in my every cell
A life undoing itself at the seam.

Written on 4th March 2007

Inside out, upside down-
If the world stops spinning around,
The tiny ripples in rivers freeze
And dust flow like water on the ground.
If the birds turn to ashes in their flight,
And the flaming rhododendrons burn-
Buildings crumble and roses fade
The sky recede far far away.
Still life goes on, in quiet desperation.

Upside down, inside out-
Wanting, but I cannot shout.
Want the blood to stop
And skin to slowly fall apart.
Want the nails to burst away
Hair catch fire and burn me down.
Eyes fade to white, red lips turn blue
And the heart turn to stone- cold and hard.
But life still goes on in silent desperation.

I held your heart in my folded palms
I said I will protect it from the world-
Wondrous rays made my hands glow
Wondered what secrets it would unfold!

I opened my palms to let the light wash my eyes
And out flitted a million rainbow coloured butterflies.

Im letting you go
Into the leaf strewn cobbled lane
Walk into the unknown
Into the sunset on your own
Finally, Alone.

Ive walked long with you
Growing up enough
To stand and watch
As you left my hand and
Learnt to fly.

And now you say
You dont want to fly away
I never believed you wanted to stay
I have looked the other way
As you tried to make up your mind.

Now the time has come
To search within my soul
For the music I lost
Someone else needs me now
Another hand to hold...